


Can a Crow Love Again?

by Crowsims



Series: A Crow Flies in Sunnydale [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), The Crow - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 19:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowsims/pseuds/Crowsims
Summary: Angelus created a Crow before Buffy killed him. Now that Crow, Carmen, is still around and finds herself being drawn to the Slayer. But is it right for her to love again when the love she once had is the reason for her being?





	Can a Crow Love Again?

**Author's Note:**

> I love The Crow franchise. (Incase you didn't get that by my handle here) The comics, movies, even the short lived single season series you can only find on YouTube these days. This idea came to me after re-watching Crow: City of Angels for like the two hundredth time. Ashe and Sarah developed feelings for each other, despite Ashe being a mess over his son's death. That got me wondering, can a Crow love again? Can someone driven by loss, filled with pain and the need for revenge find warmth and comfort with someone else? This is my answer to that question, using my own Crow and tossing her in to one of my favorite fandoms.  
> Two quick things, first the crow talks mentally in italics. The original comic did this but it was out loud...I think. Second flashbacks in this part are between these ~~~. Enjoy.

People once believed that when someone dies a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.

 

I stopped believing in legends and fairy tales a long time ago. Then one night the woman I love and I met a genuine flesh and blood monster that killed us. I remember going…somewhere. I remember seeing her, my Erica. We were standing on this bridge when a crow flew in and landed in front of us.

 

It wasn’t a normal crow. It talked. I’m not kidding. The damn thing talked, but it didn’t talk with its beak. It spoke inside my head like some weird telepathy.

 

 _‘Sorry ladies but it’s not time for you two to be together yet,_ ’ the crow said in a sorrow laced feminine voice.

 

Erica heard her too because she kissed my cheek then crossed the bridge and disappeared. I turned to the crow just as it flew down off the bridge. I jumped over the edge after her on instinct. The next thing I know I’m back here in the land of the living only I’m not alive.

 

My name’s Carmen. I am a Crow and this is my story.

 

~~~

I met Erica two years ago. We fell in love at first sight. I know it’s cliché but it’s the truth.

 

We moved here to Sunnydale and bought a nice skylight loft apartment. Erica was a professional photographer that did freelance work and I was a musician picking up gigs where ever I could.

 

One night after I finished performing at the local hot spot, The Bronze, we were walking home when this guy came up and started flirting with us. Now I’ve been a lesbian since I was thirteen and Erica has been bi for just as long, so the chances of this suave tall, dark and eerily creepy guy picking us up was zero. But that didn’t seem to stop him.

 

When I pushed him away from Erica after he got a little too close, he laughed at me right before his face morphed in to this monstrous form with yellow eyes and fangs. He moved in fast knocking me to the ground then sank his fangs in to my neck after pouncing on top of me. I could feel him draining my blood and right when I was about to pass out from the loss, he tossed me aside like I was trash. Erica ran to me and sat me up against the wall. My eye sight was blurry and I couldn’t move an inch.

 

The guy then came up and tossed Erica away from me. He went and got on top of her. Pulling out a knife, he began cutting her across the chest. Each time he’d bring the knife up and lick it clean before continuing. Erica was crying and looking at me, whispering my name and reaching out to me, but I couldn’t do anything to help her. The monster was taunting me now, saying if I came over and took Erica’s out stretched hand he’d leave us alone. I fell to my side and mustered up what little strength I had left then held my hand out as I began to crawl to her.

 

A surprised look crossed his demonic face at my determination. It was instantly replaced by an evil grin. He followed that up with a laugh then threw the knife at me, embedding it in my shoulder and causing me to drop my arm. He laughed triumphantly at stopping me before bending down to sink his fangs in to Erica’s neck, ripping out a chunk of her throat before coming over to me. He leaned over and kissed me, making me taste Erica’s blood on his lips as consciousness started to leave me.

 

The last thing I remember seeing was a blonde girl tossing the man off me and fighting with him. He managed to get away and the blonde went over to check on Erica. Her face fell as she looked over at me, my eyes still open as darkness began to fill them.

 

“I’m so sorry,” I heard her say sadly as my world went dark.

~~~

 

 _‘Thinking about the past?’_ my bird asked from her perch above me.

 

I’m hunched on top of my grave stone on the balls of my feet with my long legs bent at the knee, my hands folded in front of me and my head lowered as my long unruly obsidian locks curtained around my face.

 

“Why am I still here?”

 

 _‘Sorry, not my department,’_ she answered looking down at me.

 

“Then I want to talk to your supervisor,” I retorted smirking. My bird flew down and landed on my shoulder, pecking at my head before I brushed her off.

 

 _‘You’re a comedian,’_ she stated as she landed on a nearby stone cross.

 

“Angelus is history. Spike and Drusilla are gone,” I began softly, “Granted I’m not the one who killed him. That job sadly was Buffy’s.”

 

 _‘Sadly?’_ she repeated questionably _, ‘I thought you would have celebrated the fact that he’s spending the rest of eternity in a hell dimension being tortured relentlessly.’_

 

“Angel is in a hell dimension being tortured relentlessly,” I corrected her sharply, “Willow’s spell worked remember. Angelus went back to his cage buried under a soul and Angel, the man Buffy loved with all her heart was back.”

 

_‘And she had to kill him to save the world. I know all that. What I don’t know is why that saddens you?’_

 

“Because it saddened Buffy and drove her away for a while,” I answered softly reaching out and resting a hand on Erica’s headstone.

 

 _‘Now I get it,’_ the black bird with a tuft of white feathers on her chest declared in an amused tone.

 

I turned a murderous glare at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

 _‘I’ll leave you to figure that out,_ ’ she replied then flew off, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

 

That’s never a good thing.

 

~~~

The next night after I came back, I found the man who killed us. Or should I say the vampire. He was fighting a strangely familiar blonde in another alley. He knocked her to the ground and advanced on her when I dropped down from the roof and knocked him away.

 

“Remember me?” I asked smiling. He got up and looked at me curiously.

 

“I don’t do clowns,” he answered with a laugh.

 

I discovered that during heated, angry, troubling times another side of me comes out…the Crow side. My skin takes on a pale ashen color, black circles form around my eyes while small black lines go up and down from them. My lips and fingernails go pitch black and black curves appear at the corners of my mouth like an extended grin. I do look like a clown or a mime from hell then.

 

“No, you’re more in to the mentally handicapped from what I here.”

 

He snarled and attacked me, aiming a fist at my head which I easily caught at the wrist and twisted painfully back before delivering a fast strong kick to his stomach.

 

“What’s wrong Angelus? Doesn’t this corpse have a familiar face. We met in an alley just like this one,” I began tightening my grip on his wrist, “You acted all flirty and charming, trying to get in to me and my girl’s pants. You played with her and taunted me after taking a bite. Is this ringing any bells or have the faces of your victims blurred together over the centuries?”

 

“Can’t be,” he breathed looking up at me, surprise shining in his yellow eyes, “I killed you…I didn’t turn you so…you’re dead.”

 

“So are you,” I stated grinning, “The only difference is I’m not going to end up as a pile of ash in five minutes.”

 

My attention was focused on the vamp in front of me so intently that I didn’t notice another vamp coming up behind me till he knocked me to the ground. I lost my grip on Angelus’ wrist as I rolled on the ground with the new vamp, quickly kicking him off me and flipping up; only to find my target had escaped. I turned my attention on the vamp that let him get away and beat him to a pulp before grabbing a broken wooden shard and driving it in to his heart. He dusted and I turned to look down the alley where Angelus escaped.

 

“Clearly you’re not a vampire,” the blonde said as she stood a few feet behind me in a fighting stance, “So who and what are you?”

 

Closing my eyes and letting out a long sigh, I turned to face her, still in full Crow form.

 

“You were there,” I remembered softly, “You got him off her but it was too late and you knew it. You looked at me and you said ‘I’m so sorry’. I could swear I saw a tear falling just before the world went black.”

 

“Carmen,” she breathed shakily, “Carmen Lee. You’re Carmen Lee, the guitarist and singer from ‘The Bronze’. You died.”

 

“I did,” I nodded moving in closer to her but she kept backing away, “And you’re the Slayer. So why haven’t you done your job and killed that bastard.”

 

“It’s complicated,” she admitted sadly as her back hit the wall.

 

“Complicated!” I shouted, burying my fist in to the brick wall next to her head, “What the hell is so complicated? He’s a vampire and you’re the Slayer. It’s your job to kill him and you failed. Now it’s my turn.”

 

“His name wasn’t always Angelus and he wasn’t always bad,” the blonde told me tearfully, “He was Angel once and I loved him.”

 

I didn’t believe her so I decided to see for my self. I pulled my fist out of the wall and held it in front of her so she could see the bruised and bloody knuckles heal quickly. She was shocked and distracted, which gave me the opening to cup her face and bring our foreheads together as I closed my eyes. My mind became filled with images of Angel, staking the vampire that sired him to save Buffy, the Slayer. I saw him risking his life to save her friends. Then I saw them kissing and making love on her birthday. A moment of pure happiness that broke the curse placed on him and turned Angel back to Angelus.

 

“Stop,” Buffy cried out, as she relived these memories also.

 

I released her and took a step back. She was hugging her self tightly and crying when I opened my eyes.

 

“I’m sorry. I…I didn’t know.”

 

“Now you do,” Buffy replied shakily, “It’s my fault. You and that woman died because I couldn’t kill him when I had the chance. He’s rubbed my face in it non stop, killing and tormenting my friends. I’m so sorry.”

 

“You loved him,” I began coming forward and slowly cupping her face, “And he loved you. Don’t be sorry about that, Buffy. It’s a rare thing to find someone you love so completely that you loose yourself in them. Believe me…I know.”

 

“It hurts too,” she stated looking up at me.

 

“Yes it does,” I agreed softly, using my thumb to brush away her tears, “And I wish I could say something that’ll make it go away, but I can’t. The pain never goes away. Only with time will it lessen.”

 

“You sound pretty wise for a musician.”

 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” I replied smiling a small smile.

 

After that night I got to know Buffy Summers and her friends and with her Watcher’s help, discovered what I was and why I was here. I also went out at nights and helped her patrol. It took us a while but we finally came to an understanding regarding Angelus. I wouldn’t go after him alone and wouldn’t kill him or his little family unless they came at me first. Buffy' s the Slayer and it's her job regardless of why I came back. Even though it did aggravate me somewhat, I knew this is something she has to do for herself as well as everyone else.

~~~

 

I hopped down off my grave stone and turned to sit in front of Erica’s, running my fingertips along the cool smooth marble face.

 

“I’m still here and you’re there waiting for me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I miss you but…but the pain…the sadness…it’s not as deep as it once was. I don’t feel as angry as I did when I first came back or as lost and I don’t know why?”

 

_‘That’s not true and you know it.’_

 

“I thought you flew off?” I asked irritably.

 

_‘I did. That doesn’t cut off our connection though. You know what’s wrong with you. The problem is you don’t want to admit it out loud or to her because you’re afraid.’_

 

“I’m not afraid,” I stated strongly but not strong enough, “I don’t know what I am. What I do know is that it feels like I’m betraying her.”

 

‘ _You are allowed to feel you know,’_ the bird argued, _‘You’re dead but still alive. It’s complicated I know, but it doesn’t have to be. You have friends and that’s good. You have feelings for…’_

 

“Stop it,” I interrupted before she could say what I already know as I closed my eyes, my mind flashing back to the past and not my past with Erica for once. But of the night that brought on this confusing storm now clouding my mind.

 

~~~

I was sitting on the floor of our loft, looking at old photos when someone knocked on the door. Getting up I walked across and opened it to see Buffy holding an overstuffed backpack.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Hi,” I repeated confused, “Is something wrong?”

 

“You could say that, can I come in?” Buffy asked hopefully. I stepped aside and let her in. She plopped her bag down and wrapped her arms around herself as she took a look around the place.

 

The loft, that once housed couches and a loveseat, along with a TV and fully stocked kitchen, was now open and bare except for the kitchen thanks to the landlord selling off all the furniture. The only piece that remained miraculously was the bed in our bedroom.

 

“Buffy, what’s happened?” I asked worriedly as I stepped up behind her.

 

“He was in my room while I slept last night,” she answered in a frightened tone, “He didn’t hurt me or anything; he just drew me. You know for a psychopathic monster he’s very talented.”

 

“Did you tell Giles?”

 

“Yeah, he and Will are currently doing a spell that will revoke his invitation. I’m just thankful mom is out of town. If he…if he had…” I reached out and placed a hand on Buffy’s shoulder comfortingly.

 

She lowered her head and began to shake from silent sobs before spinning around and burying her face in my chest, crying as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Going on instinct, I wrapped my arms around her; placing a hand behind her head and holding her close as she continued crying. Despite being a strong resilient fighter, she’s still nothing more then a beautiful young woman.

 

Where did that just come from?

 

“Look,” I said soothingly, pulling back and making her look at me, “Your mom is safe and so are you. Angelus just wants to torment you because he remembers everything Angel and you had and felt together.”

 

“We have to end this soon. I can’t take much more and neither can my friends…or you.”

 

“Don’t rush in because of me,” I told her strongly, “I told you I’m fine with waiting till you’re ready and I meant it. And right now you don’t look ready to fight a hamster, little own a vampire.” Buffy laughed and smiled softly up at me, causing my heart to heat up. My heart doesn’t beat anymore as far as I know, but now it feels like its ready to burst out of my chest all because Buffy laughed and smiled.

 

This can not be happening.

 

I can’t be falling for her.

 

Can I?

 

“So,” I drew out, letting her go and glancing at the bag on the floor, “What’s with the bag?”

 

“I know its kind of short notice but…can I stay here tonight?” Buffy asked pleadingly, “Will’s place is also getting spelled and her house is already holding her aunt and there’s no way I’m bunking with Giles and his books. Xander offered but…”

 

“Buffy,” I stopped her with a half smile, “Breathe before you pass out.”

 

Buffy lowered her head bashfully then looked up at me with soft tired eyes.

 

“I don’t eat, so the fridge is empty but I got plenty of water on the tap. I don’t sleep so you get the bed all to yourself. If you can handle that, you’re welcome to stay the night.”

 

“It’ll be rough but I think I can manage,” Buffy replied with a smile that quickly vanished as she looked in to the bedroom, “I can’t sleep in your bed. That’s where you and Erica…that’s where you two slept.”

 

“You see any thing else soft and warm to sleep on?”

 

“No. But…”

 

“But nothing,” I stopped her strongly, “I don’t mind and neither would Erica.”

 

“Thanks, Carmen,” Buffy breathed warmly, smiling up at me. We stood there in silence, just looking in to each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever till Buffy blushed and looked away. I shook my head clear then went and picked up her bag. Buffy followed behind me as I entered the bedroom, placed it on the bed and left her to get settled.

 

***

 

We stayed up for a while and just talked about school, life, love, the latest fashion and boys. Well Buffy talked about boys, I just listened and gave her my limited knowledge and advice. After our girl talk I played her a little music on my guitar, a nice low soothing ballad that had her on the brink of sleep.

 

“Time for bed,” I declared putting up my guitar.

 

“I’m not tired,” Buffy yawned.

 

“Uh-huh, sure you’re not,” I snorted sarcastically, “Go wash up and get ready for bed.”

 

“Yes mom.”

 

I’m only in my late twenties brat.

 

“Watch it blondie.”

 

Buffy stuck her tongue out then bolted for the bathroom when I took a menacing step towards her. I laughed then turned around and looked up at the skylight when I heard a loud “Caw”.

 

“Instead of spying on me, why don’t you go spy on Angelus?”

 

 _‘You’re not the boss of me;’_ she replied childishly, _‘Besides this show is much more enjoyable.’_

 

“Go!”

 

She flew off with a few chuckle like squawks before I turned around and saw Buffy, dressed in long pink flannel pajama pants with little piglets on them and a white tank top grinning at me.

 

“Say one word about me arguing with a bird and I anonymously tell your high school class about your pajama wear.”

 

“Did I say anything?” Buffy asked defensively.

 

“No but you were thinking it, I know you were.”

 

Buffy once again smiled and laughed then came up and kissed my cheek. “Thanks, Carmen…for everything.”

 

“My pleasure,” I said honestly, “Good night Buffy.”

 

“Good night,” Buffy replied then walked in to the bedroom and closed the door.

 

***

 

I was perched on the sill of the skylight, looking up in to the clear star filled sky. Not being able to sleep, I was able to keep watch in case Angelus tried to come here to get at Buffy or me. According to Giles’ research, since I’m technically dead and my soul exists in the crow, any vampire could walk in here without an invitation. Luckily Angelus is enjoying some time with Drusilla according to my birds eyes. Not so lucky for Spike whose still stuck in that wheelchair.

 

My attention shifted from the stars to the loft when I heard muffled cries coming from the bedroom. I jumped down and made my way in to see what was wrong. Opening the door I saw Buffy tossing and turning on the bed in the midst of a nightmare; a bad one by the looks of it.

 

 “Buffy,” I called out loudly, taking hold of her and shaking her awake.

 

Her eyes shot open as she grabbed my arm and squeezed with bone crushing force, driving her nails in to the exposed skin.

 

“Buffy,” I repeated calmly, “It’s okay, it was just a dream.”

 

“He was here,” Buffy breathed shakily.

 

“I’ve been up on guard duty all night, he hasn’t been here.”

 

“He was here and you two fought and he…” Buffy continued as if she didn’t hear me.

 

“Buffy,” I said breaking out of her hold and cupping her face, bringing her eyes to look in to mine, “He can’t hurt me. I’m dead, remember?”

 

“You look and feel alive to me.”

 

I directed her eyes to the fingernail sized bloody gauges in my arm as they slowly began healing until there wasn’t a mark on my skin. I then let go of her head and took hold of her hand, bringing it up and placing it on my chest.

 

“My heart doesn’t beat. I don’t feel any pain. I barely feel anything these days…unless I’m with you.”

 

“Carmen,” Buffy breathed softly.

 

I shook my head, mentally chastising myself for saying that and let go of her hand, letting her place it back on the bed.

 

“You should try and go back to sleep,” I sighed getting up only to have Buffy’s hand shoot out and take hold of my wrist.

 

“Would you…would you stay with me…just till I fall back asleep?”

 

I closed my eyes and tried to fight down the swell of emotions that were filling me at hearing the low frightened tone in Buffy’s voice. But I was loosing badly and my resolve was slipping. “Okay,” I said and got on top of the covers, resting my back against the headboard. Buffy laid back down tensely before I pulled her in close, letting her rest her head on my jean covered lap.

 

“I’m sorry,” she breathed sadly.

 

“For what?”

 

“I’m the Slayer. I’m supposed to be strong and able to take down every monster,” Buffy answered laughing lowly, “Yet here I am, acting like a blubbering idiot twice tonight.”

 

“You’re not just the Slayer, you are also a young woman who is dealing with a very difficult situation,” I reminded her calmly as I ran a hand through her long soft hair, “You don’t have to be strong all the time Buffy, especially not around me.”

 

“Carmen…”

 

“Go to sleep,” I ordered firmly.

 

“Okay,” Buffy replied tiredly as I continued running my fingers through her hair, hoping to soothe her and pleased to find it did when I felt her fall asleep.

 

I was torn between easing my self out from under her and staying. I felt strangely content right now, but I know I’m not supposed to. Just like I’m not supposed to fall in love while the love of my life waits for me on the other side. Yet here I am…finding my self falling for the blonde currently sleeping in my lap.

 

Can someone filled with pain and longing over the death of someone they deeply loved find love again?

 

Is it right to?

 

What will happen to me if I accept these feelings and move on with my life when I’m not even alive?

 

These questions kept running through my head all night until I finally had to distance myself from the source of them. I left a note for Buffy saying I had to get out of town for a few days to clear my head. My crow stayed behind after I practically begged her to, just so I would be able to keep an eye on her. That’s how I knew what happened to Angel and what Willow did.

~~~

 

I rested my forehead against the cool stone of Erica’s grave and closed my eyes.

 

“I’m still so confused,” I breathed against the headstone, “I need help here.”

 

“You never could figure your feelings out on your own,” a female voice teased from behind me.

 

I shot up and turned to see Erica, standing before me in a long flowing white sundress, her long brown hair blowing in some unseen wind.

 

“You called it one of my little quirks,” I laughed sadly, “It also made it easier for you to read me and control me.”

 

“And now you’ve found someone else to get you all worked up that you’re spending the night in a graveyard,” Erica retorted.

 

“I used to think that they were the safest place in the world to be until coming here,” I joked.

 

“Carmen, I’m on a clock here. Do you want to listen to what I’ve come to say or continue cracking jokes?” Erica asked with a raised eyebrow. A clear indication I’m getting on her nerves. I jumped back and rested on top of my headstone, patiently waiting for what she’s come all the way down here to tell me.

 

“You’re a Crow and no matter what happens you’ll always be a Crow. But you’re still a woman and you are capable of re-falling in love,” Erica began warmly as she came forward and cupped my face, her surprisingly warm hands feeling good against my cheeks, “We had our time together and it was beautiful and amazing and the wrong has been righted.”

 

“Then why am I still here?” I asked placing my hands on top of hers.

 

“The Powers That Be, the higher ups for all the forces of good in this world, they know the sacrifice Buffy made to save the world and avenge us,” Erica answered, “She killed her possible soulmate, the man she loved the same way you loved me. They’re giving both of you a second chance at love; granted in your case a slightly unfair one since there’s no way they can make you...”

 

“Alive,” I finished, closing my eyes, “Does this mean she has feelings for me?”

 

“She’s scared and doesn’t want to freak you out by admitting them,” Erica told me, resting her forehead against mine, “She’s very beautiful.”

 

“I hadn’t noticed."

 

“Liar,” Erica declared with a laugh before kissing me softly yet deeply on the lips then pulling back, “I love you and all I want is for you to be happy. Buffy makes you happy. She makes you forget what you are and feel alive.”

 

“I love you too and always will,” I said, kissing her one last time then opening my eyes and finding myself alone.

 

My eyesight suddenly took on an overhead and focused view. I was seeing through my crow’s eyes and right now she was above Buffy fighting off three vampires.

 

 _‘She could use some help,’_ the bird stated strongly.

 

“On my way,” I replied, placing my hand on Erica’s headstone before dashing off to help Buffy.

 

***

 

“You know, I hear Slayer blood is the hottest, sweetest blood there is,” the vamp in front of Buffy said eagerly, while his friends held her tight by the arms, “What do you say boys, we take her back to the crypt and see if it’s true?”

 

“Sorry, but the lady has a prior commitment,” I said from behind him.

 

He twirled around just in time for my fist to connect with his jaw, sending him flying, well crashing, in to a nearby tree. Buffy wiggled her way out of the other vampire’s grips and rolled out of the way just as I delivered a spinning back kick to their heads, sending them falling back.

 

“Got a spare stake I can borrow?” I asked as I helped her up.

 

Buffy reached behind her coat and pulled out two sharp wooden stakes and handed me one. I smiled softly at her, but she kept a cold scowl on her face as she turned to deal with the two vamps getting up.

 

“Guess we’ll talk later,” I said to her back.

 

“Or never,” the vamp I hit earlier said, spinning me around and returning the favor by punching me in my jaw.

 

My head rocked to the side as he quickly followed the punch with a knee to the stomach that bent me over in half and caused me to drop the stake. He quickly retrieved it as he saw Buffy dust his two friends.

 

“Didn’t know there were two souled traitors in this town,” he shouted as he pulled my head up by my hair, “Since you took care of Angelus, I guess I’ll take care of this one.” He drove the stake in to my heart and laughed as he took a step back, waiting for me to dust. Instead I fell to my knees. “What the hell? “What is this bitch?”

 

“Pilot error,” I answered gruffly, pulling the stake out and holding it in my hand, “Fetal distress; the random chromosome. I am complete and total madness.”

 

I stood up and shook my head back, brushing the hair away from my face before looking back at the frightened vampire in true Crow fashion. “Though right now, I’m just a really pissed off bird,” I continued before jumping up and kicking the vampire in the chest with both my feet, falling down to the grass on my back while he fell on his ass. I flipped up and jumped up again, landing with both booted feet on his chest with my arms outstretched.

 

“I think you crushed my sternum,” the vamp coughed out, blood spilling out of the corner of his mouth.

 

“Oh I’m so sorry,” I cried out in mock regret, “Here, let me kiss it and make it better.”

 

I leant down like I was about to kiss him then drove the stake through his heart at the last minute. He dusted and got his ash all over my jeans but he was history none the less.

 

***

 

“Are you okay?” Buffy asked worriedly as she ran up and placed her hand on my chest, pulling apart the hole the stake made in my black turtle neck to see the wound. What she saw was the wound close up; leaving a white scar that would be gone by morning. “Right,” she laughed, “I forgot you can’t kill a woman that’s already dead.”

 

“Though I’m thinking you’d care to test that theory,” I replied still in the Crow state.

 

She pushed me back then delivered a fast punch to my stomach followed by another and another. I staggered on my feet but remained up right, even when she started banging on my chest with the heel of her fist. Buffy stopped eventually and fell to her knees and sat down, burying her head in her hands. I crouched down in front of her and tilted my head to the side as she sobbed silently.

 

“You’re mad at me for leaving you after that night,” I began in a neutral tone, “You’re mad at me because you lost your sister Slayer, Kendra, when I should have been there protecting the others. You’re mad at me because you had to kill the man you loved and not the demon. But worst of all…you’re mad at me because you love me and think that I can’t and don’t love you in return. That about sum it up or did I miss something?”

 

“Nailed it all on the head,” Buffy choked out as she looked up at me with angry red puffy eyes, “You left me. I thought I’d never see you again and all I had to remember you by was an empty loft and an even emptier grave.”

 

“Do you know why I left?” I asked softly lowering my head, “Would you even care right now if I told you?”

 

I turned back to my usual self just in time as Buffy raised my head up by a firm grip on my chin and said, “It may be the only thing that can save your ass at this point.”

 

A laugh escaped my lips as I smiled softly and began to tell her the truth. “That night you came over was probably the best night I’ve had in a long time. We talked and just hung out like two normal girls. I even played for you. Do you know that I haven’t even touched that guitar since I got it back from that pawn shop owner? Then we joked around and you went to sleep.”

 

“Where I had a nightmare you died, which was silly because like I just said, it’s hard to kill a woman who’s already dead.” Buffy added softly in a babbling manner I ignored.

 

“Then I came in and comforted you and stayed with you as you slept, running my fingers through your hair,” I continued in a warm tone as I ran my fingers through her hair to help drive my point home, “I watched you sleep with your head in my lap and felt so at peace for the first time since I came back. I was falling for you, Buffy, and it scared me. I felt like I was betraying Erica. So I ran. I kept my bird here to keep an eye on you and I saw everything that happened. I felt it. That’s what drew me back. You were right to run away, I wasn’t.”

 

“But I came back and so did you,” Buffy said, moving her hand from my chin up till she was cupping my cheek.

 

I leaned in to the warm hand and closed my eyes. Flashes of pain and loss filled my head but it wasn’t coming from me. It was Buffy. And it wasn’t all about killing Angel.

 

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was falling for you too?” Buffy asked anxiously, “That even though my friends stood by me, I had you and your strength to keep me from falling in to the dark?”

 

“Slipped my mind completely,” I answered jokingly, “Though as someone who’s dealt with being in the dark it’s not so bad. As long as you have something, or in this case someone, lighting it for you.”

 

“Erica,” Buffy sighed.

 

“Buffy,” I corrected, reaching out and cupping her face. I closed my eyes and showed her the conversation I just had with Erica, grateful that my power worked both ways. It makes things a lot easier sometimes.

 

“She wants you to be happy,” Buffy breathed as I opened my eyes, “Do I make you happy?”

 

“You make me feel alive,” I answered honestly, smiling a genuine warm smile at her.

 

“Carmen?” Buffy asked softly.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Will you kiss me already.”

 

“With pleasure,” I breathed as I leaned in and kissed her softly. It started out soft at least.

 

You know for someone who only has experience kissing guys, Buffy is surprisingly very adept at kissing girls as well. She turned what was to be a soft meaningful kiss that held nothing but warmth and turned it in to a hot make out session. I was on my back with Buffy on top of me, cupping my face while her tongue fought with mine before I even knew what happened.

 

 _‘Damn,’_ I heard my crow exclaim.

 

“What was that?” Buffy asked, pulling back and straddling my stomach as she looked around frantically for a peeping tom. Or in this case peeping bird.

 

“Look up and in the tree,” I laughed. Buffy followed my instructions and glared menacingly at the crow.

 

“Pervert,” Buffy declared.

 

 _‘I catch you two makin’ out in a cemetery and she has the balls to call me a pervert?'_   the bird asked angrily.

 

“Did you hear that?” I asked.

 

“No, what did she say?”

 

“You don’t want to know,” I answered, sitting up and wrapping my arms around her waist.

 

“How did I hear her in the first place?” Buffy asked curiously.

 

 _‘Momentary crossing of power while you two were playing tonsil hockey,’_ the bird answered amused, _‘Since you can hear me now there's something I've been curious about. Are you a bottled blonde or a natural blonde?’_

 

“That’s who you remind me of, my irritating little sister. That’s what I’m going to call you from now on instead of bird, Sis,” I said, smiling at the memory of my obnoxious yet sweet sister who died when I was nineteen. I turned to look up at the crow to see her looking down at me with a cocked head.

 

“That’s sweet,” Buffy said smiling evilly up at the crow, “Now beat it bird or I’ll turn you in to a bleached blonde.”

 

Sis squawked and cawed loudly before diving off the tree and over our heads before heading up in to the safe clear sky.

 

“I guess you can hear her when we’re not playing tonsil hokey, if we’re just touching the connection’s there."

 

“Looks like,” Buffy replied looking at me with warm sorrowful eyes, “Carmen I...”

 

“Its okay baby,” I stopped her, “I can’t say it yet either. Let’s just start small with we like each other and work our way up to love.”

 

“Deal,” Buffy said, sealing it with a kiss, “I like you.”

 

“I like you too,” I replied kissing her again.

 

***

 

People once believed that when someone dies a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.

 

I believe it now I also believe that love is the most powerful thing in world; and while it has the power to destroy, it also has the power to create. It can lift us up when we fall and grant us the strength of the Gods. It can transcend anything and smash through any barrier.

 

Even death.

 

Of course that’s just my opinion; what’s yours?

**Author's Note:**

> My Crow is a combination of all genres of The Crow. So expect her to spout off lines from the comic, movies and series.


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